I just lost my best friend...

23:31 3 Comments A+ a-

Paano ka nga ba makakamove-on sa isang tao na parating nandyan sa tabi mo at ngayon ay wala na? 

This is the most heartbreaking day for me... letting go of someone that I am not yet ready to let go but I have to. Alam mo yung feeling na may isang tao na makikinig sa mga kwento mo kahit wala siyang ka-sense sense?  Kahit corny ang mga jokes mo, okay lang kasi alam mo naman na may tatawa para sayo. May taong galit na galit dahil matigas ang ulo mo. May taong sobrang mag-aalala sa sobrang reckless mo. May taong magreremind sayo na ang taba-taba mo na at kailangan magdiet ka na. May taong magsasabi sayo na kahit di mo na kaya, nandyan pa rin siya sa tabi mo-cheering your name. May taong hindi puro papuri ang sinasabi paukol sayo kundi yung mga pagkukulang at kapintasan mo ang sinasabi.


Photo credit to : bry5


Alam mo yung feeling na kahit buong araw kayong dalawa lang ang mag-usap, kumpleto na yung araw mo. Hindi ka mag-aalala na may aapi sayo at mamaliitin ka dahil alam mong may isang tao na naniniwala sa kakayahan mo at ipagtatanggol ka. Yung time na kahit down na down ka, may isang tao na gagawa ng paraan mapasaya ka lang. Pag may time na nasa limelight ka, may taong magreremind sayo na wag lumaki ang ulo and keep your feet on the ground. Kahit alam mong haggard ka na dahil sa stress sa work, kahit bagong gising ka palang sa umaga at di pa nagtoothbrush meron pa rin magsasabi sayo na: "Ang ganda mo"...chos!   

Pero what if kung yung taong lagi nasa tabi mo eh kailangan mo na iwan? You have no choice but to make the most painful decision. I know for myself na kahit hindi ko piliin yung painful decision na yun, sa bandang huli masasaktan pa rin ako. Pwede ko pillin yung way na magiging masaya ako - pansamantala. Pero narealize ko na ayoko pala ng temporary happiness, ayoko dumating yung time na mas lalo akong mahihirapan na lumayo. Ayoko na lagi akong may worry na darating ang araw na mawawala at mawawala si best friend sa akin. Kaya habang sa tingin ko may time pa , I am letting him go. Call me a chicken, pero alam kong ginawa ko lang yung tama at dapat matagal ko ng ginawa. 

Sana may pain reliever para sa heartache, para pag gising mo kinabuksan wala na yung sakit. Pero sabi nga, kung gusto mo maging masaya, nasa sarili mo naman yun. Find your own happiness ika nga... But I just lost my happiness at this moment...so what now? Inom nalang ng Enervon?

Sana makapagprogram ako ng isang software na makakapag-patanggal ng heartaches, kasi para siyang bug, kailangan mong i-debug at ayusin yung part na nagko-cause ng bug. Kailangan i-break yung pesteng infinite loop na yan na nagdadala ng heartbreaks...bullshet diba?

O kaya sana napoprogram nalang yung isip na kapag if heart is breaking then reset to 0, delete the memory and lock file. Pwede din i-encrypt para di basta basta napapasok ng "virus". 

I just lost my best friend...what will I do now? Move on! But this will be a long walk for me. I really love him but there are things that are not really meant to be...

a.k.a Carlzy. You can call me Zy or Carla. 20 year old something. A Computer Science graduate. Part-time IT gal and a full time wanderer. Loves watching movies, anime, and dramas. Romantic but not hopeless. Fun Photography. Foodie addict. CHEESECAKE LOVER.

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10 May 2012 at 01:24 delete

You did not lost him...he just go somewhere where he can find peace and rest. He is somewhat lost and he needed someone but can't find one...someone has let him down when he was at his lowest psychologically, yeah, just like you are, he can move on and move on he will....

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Zy
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10 May 2012 at 10:24 delete

It's not only him who is suffering. If he really understands me, he should know that I am in pain too. If and if he was able to find someone to replace me then he didn't really cared at all.

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10 May 2012 at 10:52 delete

He wants to reconnect...but he have said that he can move on but words are easier said than done and he is really deeply lonely and wants her love to be back but don't know if her love has move on and move out....

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